Years ago my daughters were asked to be flower girls for their cousins wedding. My youngest daughter was only 3 years old. The day of the wedding the kids participated in the rehersal, pretending to toss their flower petals as they walked down the asile. They practiced to perfection! When it came time for the actual ceremony my husband and I entrusted out girls with the wedding coordinator and went to take our seats. The music began and one by one the bridal party walked down the asile. Our oldest daughter performed her flower girl duties perfectly . We waited for our 3 year old, hoping she would do the same. We waited and waited...after a minute or two I began to panic! I snuck out of ceremony to see what the hold up was. Stage fright? Tantrum? What was going on?! The problem was our daughter was missing! The cooridnator had no idea where she was! Meanwhile, the bride, the groom and all of the guests sat waiting while I searched the mansion for our little 3 year old flower girl. I found her up stairs in the brides room twiriling in front of the mirror. After a delay of about 8-9 minutes the ceremony continued on. Fortunately the bride was easy going and had no problem with the 'pause' in the ceremony.
Children can be a great addition to your wedding party. It is a lot of fun to dress up a little girl or guy in fancy clothes and have them participate in your big day. But remember - they are kids! Kids can be moody, silly and very unpredictable! If you plan on having children in your wedding party you must be willing to roll with what ever happens. I have seen kids refuse to walk the asile. I have seen children cry as they are walking down the asile. I have seen children steal the show during the ceremony. During the ceremony I mentiond above, the same daughter, bored to death, decided to lay down on the floor while my older daughter - mortified - tried to get her to stand up. Long story short - if you are a 'type A' personality having children participate in your ceremony may not be a great idea!
Notice the youngest no longer has her bag of flower petals!
So what are your options? First, you can, as I said above, let children participate in the entire day and just know that things may not go perfectly. You can opt to have them in the photographs and reception only, with mom and dad close at hand should there be any meltdowns). It is also ok to not use cousins, nephews and neices etc. Most parents will understand. My daughters have been flower girls on several occasions and it is no small task keeping them looking pristine and happy- not to mention hair, dresses, shoes etc! While it is an honor and a lot of fun - we would be just as happy watching from the side lines!
You may be wondering about the title of this post. I'm sure you've all heard the story of the little boy who was asked to be the ring bearer for a wedding. While walkling down the asile with the rings on the beautiful silk pillow he growl loudly all the way to the bride and groom. The boy was very proud of the job he did as ring BEAR!